I know this newsletter is long. And packed. So I’d really love to know how you feel about continuing to get:

I procrastinated doing my Buffy rewatch/recap sessions this week. When I procrastinate, it’s usually for one of three reason

And while that last point sounds like an interesting topic for another time, there is this third reason:

3. The thing is going to make me feel depressed or powerless or triggered, and I’d rather just stick my fingers in my ears and sing la la la.

This last reason can happen even with fiction like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, because art reflects on the world we live in, and not always flatteringly. (It’s funny because I often say that AI can act as a mirror to one’s self, but art has long been described as something that holds a mirror up to society.) My memory of the two episodes on tap to watch this week was that they put beloved characters in danger…and not just at the hands of monsters and demons, but also at the hands of the grown-ups they should be able to rely on, and the hands of institutions that should act to protect, not harm them.

That’s tough on its own, but what I didn’t anticipate is how much it would resonate with my feelings about the world right now.

In Season 3 Episode 11 of Buffy (“Gingerbread”) something truly traumatic happens in their town, and it doesn’t take very long before the citizens of Sunnydale go from rational…asking for action from their leaders…to a mob mentality, turning on one another in opposition to the very community values they’re trying to uphold. They start looking for individuals to hold responsible, and they start looking for everyone to conform to a standard of behavior that feels safe, rather than asking bigger questions about how they got to this point and where the power and responsibility really lie. The chaos agents behind the traumatic event need do nothing to see the community begin to tear itself apart.

The first true thing: I’m the Queen of individual action and responsibility. I wrote a whole book about how you can take action and responsibility. Voting is just the beginning. I personally boycott a LOT of things…Amazon, Target, the entire meat, dairy, egg industry. I won’t click on an ad in the Meta universe…if I see something interesting there, I go find the vendor’s direct web site. I think of every dollar I spend as my economic vote every day.

Still: Individual action, even by lots and lots of people is not enough to create and then cement the changes we need. Especially when we’re talking about systemic change. My personal belief system is that taking action in alignment with your values is the clearest path to happiness. So, individual action matters because of both the impact (obvs.) but alsobecause of how it manifests your intent.

The second true thing: To tackle systemic change we need systemic action…we need institutions to change. We need policy and practice to change. We need to change hearts, minds, and laws.

And too many institutions operate on the principle that change that prioritizes making the world (or even their reputation) better will make their bottom line worse.

Institutions (which are led by people, I know) that want to forestall change, have figured out that if they can just get individuals to first, believe they need to make change, and then second, judge all the other individuals who don’t make the same changes, we will take our eyes off the prize of institutional change.

The clearest one I can think of is of this very moment, and it has to do with AI.

There are multiple generations in the workforce right now who are being told, “Use AI or perish.” Employers are not being shy about saying that you better use AI or you won’t get a job, keep a job, advance in your job. And oh, by the way, most companies aren’t providing formal training on it…you’re expected to learn this extremely broad and complex technology with countless use cases on your own time and dime.

Meanwhile, the discourse on platforms like LinkedIn and in the media in general seems to divide commenters into two camps: People who evangelize that AI is here, get used to it and get over it, and people who evangelize that AI (and the people who dare to use it, regardless of how) are personally responsible for every societal and environmental ill that can be laid at AI’s feet. Yes, I use the word “evangelize” on purpose because sometimes it feels like a holy war.

Use AI, and you’re complicit.

Don’t use AI, and you’re un-hireable.

This is a debate you can’t win either way and arguing over which way to lose is a distraction, not activism.

Mind you, most of the people in these two camps aren’t in the position of fixing the very real concerns and problems. You can bet that no one is happier than the people who could have a hand in fixing it that we are having this argument amongst ourselves instead of turning, as one, to the big tech companies (and our governments) and asking why SO LITTLE of their billions (with a ‘b’) in funding and revenue is being invested in greentech solutions, cybersecurity and privacy solutions, creator compensation solutions, and on and on and on. Those companies are the ones with the billions, and we’re down here arguing about chatbot queries, many of which are required in our places of employment…again, driven by institutional use, not individual whimsy.

It’s like telling a generation they should buy less avocado toast without noting how wages have stagnated while expenses continue to rise, especially healthcare and housing.

Sure, I used to advise people to be thrifty, so when they had a big idea they had the freedom to pursue it. Because having a cushion is what enabled me to start a company like BlogHer and bootstrap it for two years before fundraising. I’m not anti-thrift.

But let’s be so for real: Telling people to have no life and enjoy nothing in that no-life in order to barely afford the most basic necessities of that no-life? All while fighting any raise in the minimum wage, or increase in the Social Security cap, or incremental increases in the progressive tax rates for companies and the most wealthy? All while also encouraging some groups of the struggling classes to blame other groups in the struggling classes, rather than the people and institutions with the most power?

It’s cruel.

And it was all I could think of when hearing this line from Giles in “Gingerbread”:

So yeah, depressing. Too too relevant to today, especially for a show written 27 years ago.

But also, it’s a reminder that I need right now. So, here’s a set of reminders to myself, and I hope they’re useful to you too:

·       I don’t have to get pulled into holy wars between different camps of individuals when what I really think is most needed is action from institutions.

·       My contribution to such debates, if any, may be to lead with what’s driving the way things are at the system level.

·       I’m always going to ask for solutions from the people with the most power and money and actual say in what gets enacted and cemented and legislated.

·       If I feel a sting in some of the criticism from one side or another in any holy war, that’s something to examine, not leap to defend.

Those are my reminders to myself…ways I want to engage and activate for the things I believe in. Ways I want to avoid getting pulled into holy wars or blaming individuals for collective failures.

What would you add?

I am proud of my individual actions and how I take personal responsibility in what I say, do, buy, eat, and so on, but I shouldn’t share them to say I’m different (and, tacitly, better) then others, but rather to say that we can all triage our priorities and take the actions that feel right for us.

And that is one of Buffy’s most fundamental, over-arching themes, from the very first episode to the finale: We all bring our own skills and strengths and values to the fight for a better world. In the show it’s depicted literally many times…Buffy with strength and preternatural strategic skills, Giles with knowledge and wisdom, Willow with spirit and eventually magic (and computer nerdery…its own kind of magic in the 90s), Xander with heart and loyalty. “Gingerbread” is a rare episode where it’s Buffy that needs saving, the rest of the Gang delivers, coming from two different directions…with both physical intervention and sorcery. Their teamwork saves Buffy in “Gingerbread,” and throughout the show, the Gang saves the world again and again.

This rewatch has reminded me that the world still needs saving, and we can only do it together, letting go of the way it’s always been to get to something better.

Bonus: Here’s the cover of Starter Villain…you can see why it was a must-read for me:

Ted Lasso Discourse on Threads:

I’m loving Season 4 of Ted Lasso, but it’s not without its controversy. Especially the last line of S4E3. In an episode rife with micro-and macro-aggressions against every woman on the show, it ends with a waiter making a nasty crack about Hannah Waddingham’s character, Rebecca. Calling her a whore behind her back. I agree it was utterly jarring coming from a show that people think of as existing in order to restore our faith in humanity. (I guess folks are forgetting when Nate called Rebecca a shrew right to her face in S1?) But, per my above comment, I think that was exactly the point.

I watched Season 3, episodes 11 (Gingerbread recap) and 12 (Helpless recap)…which aired on January 12 and 19, 1999 respectively. I don’t count either of these episodes among my favorites, mostly because they’re scary and disturbing for our heroes, and the villains aren’t just demons, but other humans. It’s a little too relatable.

The core #BuffyLifeLesson in Season 3 Episode 11 is that you don’t need to destroy your enemy if you can get them to turn on one another: One of my favorite writers about politics and society is Anand Giridharadas. If you read the intro to his book The Persuaders he outlines how the intent of foreign interference in our 2016 election was less about touting one candidate or another, more about dividing us from within. In this episode that is presented as an ancient evil tactic. PS: I only share the Amazon link in this one case because I believe you can read that intro via the look inside feature.

The core #BuffyLifeLesson in Season 3 Episode 12 is institutions that make decisions based on tradition and “the way things have always been” but never get in the weeds are doomed to become rigid, outdated, and suffer unnecessary losses. Call me weird, but all I could think about after watching this episode was those CEOs of mega-companies who insist on blanket return-to-office edicts as though that is going to solve their problems. I’m guessing that they don’t really know what’s going on at the line level…whether their workforce is working in person or remote.

I’m here every week, using pop culture (and Buffy the Vampire Slayer right now) as a jumping off point for everything I’m thinking about professional leadership, personal development, political philosophy, and pop culture. I would love you to join me by subscribing. And I would love you to share the link with other nerds like us!