This week in my "Buffy" rewatch, the second season came to a close. I have always thought of this season finales as an exemplar of the two themes that are the most recurrent overarching themes of "Buffy:” Teamwork and sacrifice. I’ve talked about both themes already, but there are a million ways to talk about them again. But instead, upon this rewatch, I was struck by a third thing about the season 2 finale. The Monster as Metaphor trope gets turned on its head because, in this case, it was a Human as the metaphorical monster.

That's because the season 2 finale is when Buffy finally “comes out” as Slayer to her mom.

Her mom knows in her gut something is going on. She's seen a bunch of unexplainable things. Believing in vampires and that someone is the Slayer would explain a lot of unexplained phenomenon she has witnessed. But when Buffy tells her who she is, her mom does not take it well.

She denies it can be true. She asks why Buffy would “choose” that. She forbids it. She tells Buffy to change. And the last thing she says, as Buffy chooses to leave the house and go save the day, is, "If you walk out that door, don't come back." (Sound like the teenage trauma of anyone you know? It does to me.) It still hits pretty hard here in 2026, as Buffy squares her shoulders and walks out that door because she has to meet her destiny. She has to be who she is. She has to go save the world again.

This episode aired in May, 1998. This pre-dates Will & Grace. But it is after Ellen DeGeneres coming out in life and on her show…and the year that followed…a decline in ratings, cancellation, and the assumption that her career might be over. There were some “gay best friend” or “tragic homosexuals” tropes in full force, but this episode aired before anyone in the LGBTQ community was likely to have seen much in the media about their stories, their three-dimensional lives, and their coming out experiences.

One rare exception might have been the character of Ricky (played by the utterly badass Wilson Cruz) on one-season wonder, My So Called Life, which aired 3-4 years before. This was analogous to his story…coming out and getting kicked out.

*This is not an upsetting scene where Ricky gets kicked out, this is a joyous scene where he dances his heart out.

About 15 years earlier than 1998: I was a theatre kid, and even in theatre back then, being out and proud wasn’t necessarily a prevalent thing, especially in teen/young adult theatre. I was in my second production of "Fiddler on the Roof," this time playing the third oldest daughter of Tevye the milkman, Chava. Chava is the one who finally breaks his seemingly endless ability to forgive, to compromise, to accept anything for the loves of his life, his family. See, his eldest daughter wanted to break the tradition of having an arranged marriage and marry for love, He figures out a way to accept and permit that. His second daughter doesn't even ask for his permission at all as she’s fallen in love with a radical student. She’s not only going to marry him, permission or not, she's going to leave their town and go live far away to help support his work. Tevye figures out a way to accept that.

But Chava, his quiet, sensitive, bookworm daughter, has done the unthinkable. She has fallen in love with Fyedka, not only a Russian Cossack (in other words, one of their oppressors) but a Gentile. This is the bridge too far for Tevye. He banishes her, says she's dead to him. (I guess Buffy’s mom and Tevye have a lot in common.)

*“No, Chava, there is no other hand…”

I’m going to guess that lots of teens playing the daughters in Fiddler fall a little bit in love with their paramours. I probably did too.

*The story that follows happened more than 40 years ago, this is how I remember it. Apologies to any participant who remembers it differently!

At one of the cast parties, a big drama was unfolding. My Fyedka was extremely upset, and I was trying to figure out what was wrong, and he didn't want to tell me. As part of sharing why he was so upset, he ended up coming out to me. Back then it was not a given that a teenager would be open about this to another teenager, so it meant I was being entrusted with a significant secret.

He was upset because one of our other friends, someone who was my best girlfriend at the time, had been spreading a story about him. She had discovered that he’d had a fling with another one of our friends who she was kind of in love with, and in order to protect this other guy's reputation, she was spreading the story that my Fyedka had been the one to solicit the other one (who, in her version, rebuffed him). She was besmirching my Fyedka’s character, because she was besmirching the very idea of a homosexual relationship.

I didn't have a mature way of dealing with what I considered to be her betrayal of our friend, so I completely ghosted her before that was even a term. I stopped talking to her, didn't return her phone calls. (Pre-cell phone you could avoid someone much more easily.) When I think about it now, I cringe, not because I was wrong to be upset with her, but that I didn't just face her and tell her what the problem was. I try to remind myself that I didn't handle it maturely because I wasn't mature.Ironically, I am friends to this day with both of the guys in this scenario. Both those guys came out pretty early and both are doing great. But I never spoke to the girl who was at the center of that drama again. 😬

It can still be hard or risky to come out, and it can still be hard to do or say or be exactly what someone needs in that moment. But it matters. It matters to try. It matters most for all the folks who need a team behind them right now.

There’s a reason many in the Buffy fandom who are LGBTQ find the end of season two in “Buffy” especially resonant. In a society where, at the time, the majority were still considering homosexuality immoral and where the legality of marraige equality wasn’t a glimmer in anyone’s eye, this show landed squarely on the side of the heroine claiming her identity, sacrifices and all.

The queer-coded depiction of Buffy’s sacrifice and bravery in that moment was also a nod to everyone else making their own personal sacrifices and exhibiting their own flavor of bravery. If it makes you feel seen as you stand for what you believe in or stand in your own truth or stand with the LGBTQ community, however imperfectly…well, it should.

A couple weeks post-Pride Month, as we see some hard-earned rights being rolled back or under attack, it seems worth saying where you stand and for whom you stand. Out loud.

I’m curious: How old are you, and when is the first time you remember seeing a fully-drawn LGBTQ character in media?

Bonus: Here’s what my music control utility looks like in my menu bar. Here’s where you can install your own version to your own Mac.

I posted a Thread on Threads this week that went viral-ish, and it’s about a topic I don’t discuss much…my personal health, including my use of a GLP1.

It definitely struck a nerve, made some people realize they were not alone, and generated a lot of conversation about what I might call the Cult of Protein 🙈

I also postedmy opinion and a quesitons bout Madonna’s Rebel Heart album, and I’m going to say this about Threads: I have never been on a social platform where I could have such a long, respectful conversation with people of all genders both agreeing and disagreeing:

I watched Season 2, episodes 21 (Becoming Part One recap) and 22 (Becoming Part Two recap)…which aired on May 12th and 19th, 1998 respectively.

The core #BuffyLifeLessons in this two-part Season 2 finale are ones that will recur, season after season: Say it with me: Teamwork and Sacrifice. Everyone has a role to play…try to play to your own strengths, and your team’s. And, doing that? Sometimes it requires sacrifice. Sacrificing near-term ease for longer-term comfort. Sacrificing your ego to make the team stronger (interestingly, a theme of Ted Lasso Season 1 too). Sacrificing to protect. To compromise. To save the world. A lot.

I’m here every week, using pop culture (and Buffy the Vampire Slayer right now) as a jumping off point for everything I’m thinking about professional leadership, personal development, political philosophy, and pop culture. I would love you to join me by subscribing. And I would love you to share the link with other nerds like us!